Saturday, May 3, 2008

Wedding minus 14 days

I have the bubbles, glow in the dark necklaces, batteries, 6lbs of mixed nuts and a wedding dress hanging in the bedroom...the pressure is mounting. I am going to Horsemans to bet the Derby.

Having THE dress creates more pressure. Now I am worried about tornadoes, fires and floods. I was yelled at six times just getting out of the Brides house, into the car, out of the car and in my house. On top of that I have to write a check for the cake, which I understand is worth about the same a a very good HD camcorder.

I think we have resolved the dad/daughter wedding song, it still came back to the song I liked, but I had hoped for a different artist.

Pre wedding golf group has been resolved, but I am told not to expect to play golf all week. Not sure why not. I posed several of my wedding questions to a good friend in Boston who has already married off 4 of his daughters. His reply follows:

"I don’t know why not (in response to my golf ?) either especially because all you are good for is writing the #$&**()&^^%$$# checks ---- several (experienced) thoughts---I would keep a private (hidden) stash of several very good bottles of wine , drinkable only by you, and reachable only by you when shit hits the fan----several small containers of Grey Goose vodka may work just as well ----you will have 1. a oh, oh we forgot the---fill in the blank—scene 2. also “ Daddy I am not sure I really do want to get married” scene----3. a 1 or 2 members of the wedding party getting sh---face the night before the wedding( and also day of) scene----4. a where the hell is the limo scenes? Private stashes will help in all those situations btw you have no say in the father daughter wedding dance song NONE NONE if she wants a Viennese waltz, just do it even if you cant waltz—no one will notice( even though everyone will watch except for the aforementioned sh—face wedding party people hanging out at the bar) and she will remember it always! Absolutely limit the open bar at the reception ( try not to at the rehearsal dinner---this is your 1 chance to get the other dad) limit by time or $ talk to the head- reception- in- charge person—the bar guys keep running tabs so she/he can advise you several bottles of wine on each table also helps this issue pre wedding photos: small bite size nibble food that wont stain dresses etc if spilled----no complicated little sandwiches no shrimp cocktail with that lovely woops there goes my dress red sauce----- the party will be more interested in drinkee poos than food anyway ---- several extra handkerchiefs in your pockets at all times----------visit every table during reception, but make sure you eat also—must avoid the father-falling down- drunk- syndrome---plenty of time for that afterwards( remember that private stash?)---stash also good for when those sweet multi-colored drinks-ugh- are served

RULE #1: have fun --- RULE #2: have fun--- Rule #3: pray for no snow RULE # 4; stay the hell out of the way"

I love his advice. Ciao


kevinandjoe said...

I was beginning to think we weren't going to get any more wedding updates as the date drew closer and closer, but I, for one, am glad to know Kevin won't be doing a lot of golfing the week before the wedding.
Therefore I was delighted to see this post. It is great to know the details from the Dad's point of view.

kevinandjoe said...

And I meant to mention that I hoped you bet on the horse with Irish connections(to show).